Whoever wants to to be my disciple must deny themselves
And take up their cross daily and follow me.
(Luke: 9; 23)
Purpose of this book
This book is not a fiction.It is a story based on solid reality.
Hirosato Tanaka, author of this book, is not a penname but the real name.
I emphasize it because nobody with good sense would ever publish a book like this one under their real name; that would be a foolish act.
My readers might not understand what I mean yet, but I hope that they will be invited to some kind of beneficial understanding, while reading my book.
This book is the story of a man who was saved by the hands of the Lord Jesus Christ. －I was on the verge of destruction, after 55 years of atheist life.
Of course, this man is nobody else but myself, Hirosato Tanaka.
I was baptized at the age of 55 and received ordination as minister at 56: I got a calling from Jesus to be martyred.
In his work of salvation, the Lord Jesus sent me a young virgin woman who was a devoted Christian.
She led me to church; we were to get married later on.
This book is a praise to the Lord Jesus and an hommage to my wife Sachine at the same time.
From a usual point point of view, this book could be categorized into the genre of autobiography.
But if a Christian reads this preface, it would be obvious that this book is what they call a `Testimony’.
Testimony is defined as act of testifying to grace and mercy given by God, the Lord Jesus Christ.
Above all, the original experience of salvation which led us to believe in Him is highly valued in general.
That is a miracle story of meeting Jesus for the first time in our lives.
It is not too much to say that every Christian must have experienced this kind of miracle.
Suppose two Christians exchange testimonies about their meeting with Jesus.
It often happens that one is convinced of their own experience as miracle whereas the other considers it as something ordinary.
But this is not a strange phenomenon by any means. －I they are convinced, it is undoubtedly a miracle.
Miracles do happen to anybody. －That is the nature of religious experiences.
If I put such a redundant explanation above, it is because I am mainly expecting non-Christian readers.
Only 4 years ago, I was a miserable atheist who was always thinking of suicide.
But now, I’ve never felt discouraged even though I am yet going through various kinds of struggles everyday.－Jesus’ mercy saved me and made me strong.
In ths book, I want to talk about God’s miracle and His glory.
When I was facing destruction before meeting the Lord Jesus, I didn’t doubt a bit that there was any salvation anywhere.
That miserable atheist came back to life again!
Would there be any Christians who could keep to themselves this amazing experience? －Absolutely No!
They would surely wish Jesus’ amazing grace to be known all over the world, wouldn’t they?
I wish from the bottom of my heart that the Lord Jesus will extend his hands to save many people all over the world.
Glory be forever and ever to God of miracle, the Lord Jesus Christ, who took mercy on somebody like me, equal to trash.
Composition of this book
This book was written to testify how I met the Lord Jesus Christ and how I came to be convinced of His calling.
My testimony is mainly based on what I told my pastors and believers of Living Jesus Church (LJC) in Osaka, on the occasion of my baptism on March 8th, 2015. But I added a lot of details to make up a coherent story.
Because I’m writing it from the present viewpoint (2019), while awaking my past memories, the whole span of the testimony spreads over 4 years and it tells my latest update as well.
It took about 1 year and half to write the story so there might be some parts that are not connected very smoothly with each other.
I’d like to apologize to my readrers for this fault.
－For example, the sections about math/physics-related discussion, which could be categorized into atheist way of thinking, are connected with theism around the final stage of this book.
This testimony was written in a chronological manner.
It has over 600 pages and contains a wide variety of topics.
I devided it into chapters and sections with appropriate small headings.
I’d like to give notice beforehand that this book is not a literal testimony.
－I adapted simple facts for a coherent story to be made up, believing that enumeration of mere facts doesn’t transmit any meaningful messages.
This book is by no means a fiction, nor is it a so-called non-fiction novel.
If I dared name it, it would be the wisdom of the Holy Spirit.
－I believe that I wrote it according to His revelation.
Math/physics-related discussion (complex analysis and quantum physics) would be one of the most outstanding characteristics of this book.
Scientific discussions by an outsider like me could be boresome to readers who are not interested in the matter, while specialists might laugh at me because of their inconsistency.
However, it is impossible to remove them fom this book because I’m convinced that the Lord Jesus stretched out his hands to save me through those mathematical formulas.
The reason why I think so will be understood while reading the book.
I’d like to emphasize beforehand that my scientific discussions are going far beyond the standard knowledge written in textbooks even though I have a solid foothold on the textbook-knowledge.
There might be discussions lacking ordre and unity.
But it would be inevitable to a certain extent, brcause my discussions are always intuitive; I value intuitive thinkings more than anything else.
It is not too much to say that I could accept the Lord Jesus Christ thanks to my intuitive character.
Why did I go into `complex analysis’ and `quantum mechanics’ at over the age of 50?
My interest in mathematics and physics came from metaphysical intuition.
－When I considered mathematics and physics from a metaphysical viewpoint, a lot of unexpected inspirations popped up from my mind.
This book, subtitled `Testimony Story’, is composed of two different kinds of developments: Narrative Development and Theoretical Development.
The former is made up of normal sentences which would not cause any embarassment among readers, while the latter is a huge crowd of mathematical formulas which would utterly perplex them.－Authors with good sense would surely avoid this kind of confusion.
Just as I already proclaimed, however, good sense has nothing to do with me.
I’m convinced that normal sentences and mathematical formulas are inseparably tangled in my salvation.
Therefore in this book, I placed Narrative Development and Theoretical Development alternatively in order that their inseparability may stand out.
The Theoretical Development on mathematics and phisics was written while disentangling and arranging what I had reached as conclusion before I was saved.
－This conclusion was, so to speak, a highly complicated mass of new findings.
Even after this work of disentanglement and arrangement, it still seems to lack order and unity.
Moreover, I had to skip detailed explanations and proofs about certain mathematical fomulas because of my incompetence and limited space.
I apologize again for those faults mentioned above.
I believe, however, that there are no obvious errors with those mathematical formulas, because I had Mr.YR proofread them.
－He belonged at that time to the doctoral course(nuclear phisics) of graduate school, Kyoto University.
I’d like to take this opportunity to thank him.
Besides, I’m planning to tell a testimony about him in this book.
Other than mathematical formulas, this book is full of discussions which seem to be meaninglessly argumentative, but I really wish my readers to take a look of them.
You could give them a once-over or look at them just as sequence of pictures.－You will see clearly what he looks like: a stubborn atheist that I was in the past.
Anyway…This book seems to contain a lot of interesting materials.
The cross of Jesus changed me to an extremely foolish man.
The Lord Jesus ordered me:
`My blood washed away your sins and shames.Now is the time to talk about my glory.By means of your own sins and shames.’
－I’m just going to listen to Him and follow Him, since I’m his prisoner.